The Chicken Dinner
ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick.
ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent.
ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick.
ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent.
My son asked me why I quit my new job as a professional elevator operator after only one afternoon.
I asked the shopping cart why it kept wandering off on its own in the parking lot.
When you're a kid, blowing out birthday candles is the most exciting moment of the year. You close your eyes, make a wish, and feel like magic is real. When you're in your forties, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and...
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