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5 People You’ll Definitely Witness Recording Your Choking Instead of Helping During a Fancy Dinner Party

We have all been there. You are at a fancy dinner party, trying to look sophisticated while eating a piece of overcooked steak, when suddenly, the per ...

Helicopter With An Ejection Seat

What do you call a helicopter with an ejection seat?

The Door Identity Crisis

When is a door not a door?

The Cloud's Identity Crisis

I asked the meteorologist why he seemed so emotionally distant lately. He said he'd been going through a lot.

Norway Officially Explains Why Every App You Own Now Actively Hates You

The Norwegian Consumer Council has officially released a video tackling the internet phenomenon known as enshittification, and if you thought that was ...

The Commitment That Knocked

Knock knock. Who's there? Closure. Closure who?

The Weather App's Honest Review

I asked my weather app how accurate it was. It said, 'We're right about 50% of the time.' I said, 'That's terrible!' It said, 'Yeah, but that's still better than your uncle who checks the sky and says, '

The Psychic With A Weight Problem

What do you call an obese psychic?

15 Times Absolute Logic Was So Stupid It Actually Sort Of Made Sense

We have all been there. You are sitting in a meeting or scrolling through social media when someone drops a take so hot, so incredibly bold, that your ...

Kayaking Where You Least Expect It

I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today...

The Pasta's Big Confession

Why did the spaghetti refuse to go to the party?

The Most Productive Part of My Day

I spent three hours today carefully crafting the perfect caption, choosing the ideal filter, and finding just the right hashtags to post a photo of my lunch.

Your New Spiritual Tattoo Actually Means Soup of the Day

We have all been there. You are wandering through a thrift store or a trendy boutique in a neighborhood where the rent is higher than the oxygen level ...

My Body Filed a Complaint

I asked my doctor why my knees pop, my back cracks, and my shoulders click every time I move. He said my body is just trying to communicate with me. I asked what it's saying.

The Parent Performance

Most of being a parent means saying "Great!!" when your kid insists you watch him perform an unidentifiable skill.

My Son Isn't Mine?

I was very upset when my wife told me our son wasn't mine.

Eight-Armed Envy

What animal do I respect most? The octopus.

The DIY Expert's Confession

I spent all weekend watching tutorial videos, carefully measuring twice, and selecting the perfect tools before tackling my first home improvement project.

Vain Twig

What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?

Fitness Trail Motivation

We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail,