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The Principal's Big Announcement

My son came home from school and said his principal called him into the office to tell him he would not have a very bright future ahead of him.

Identity Crisis

Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?

High Notes

What is Snoop Dogg's favorite note?

Currency Conversion

With how fat America is,

River Denial

A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help?

The Polar Personality

I love the north pole and hate the south pole!, wait I love the south pole and hate the north pole!

Indifferent Inquiry

Which is worse, insouciance or ignorance?

Solo Performance

I played a piano duet with myself...

Cranial Logic

Headaches aren't real..

Festive Searching

What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

Password Security

I needed a password at least eight characters long

Knightly Tunes

What file does a Knight store his music on?

Emergency Confusion

Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born?

Did you hear about the three guys that walked into a bar?

You'd think the third guy would've ducked.

The Smartest Kid in Class

My son told me he finished all his homework in record time and his teacher said he was 'outstanding.' I asked him what subject it was.

The Apple User's Dilemma

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Spooky Poultry

What do you call a ghost chicken?

Interstellar Planning

I was going to organize a space-themed birthday party for my son...

Lonely Debt

Debt collectors are so persistent,